Google storage space rapidly diminishing.

With the exponential increase in amateur bloggers, the mountains of commentary on whether Obersturmbahnfuehrer Karl von der Rove should be publicly or privately flogged, the astounding success of Al Franken’s talk show, etc., Google has announced that it is running out of computer hard drive storage space for this tsunami of drivel commentary.

Accordingly, Google is axing all people with access to the worldwide web to please:

• use an ampersand instead of the work ‘and’;
• stop using two spaces between periods & the beginning of the next sentence;
• use only single quotes around what other people say;
• expand the use of the singular form of verbs regardless of the number of entities in the predicate (e.g., 'there’s 15 snipers in the city,' 'here’s a couple of things to bear in mind,' etc.);
• use a Hemmingwayesque style of writing;
• when writing poetry, imitate e.e. cummings. Capital letters are bigger than small letters & take up more hard drive space. We don’t call them small letters for nothing;
• stick to the point in discussion groups & forums. Nobody, but nobody, wants to hear about your dog;
• don’t discuss silly foreign policy issues like the lack of a nuanced Iraq exit strategy. It’s enough that the President seeks the total annihilation of the dirt bag population of Iraq & no further discussion of this point is necessary;
• use only one asterisk between first & last letters of cuss words. It is sufficient, henceforth, simply to write ‘f*k,’ ‘b*t,’ ‘m*r,’ ‘a*e,’ ‘d*d,’ ‘h*k,’ or ‘d*n.’ This will save a lot of space in blog comment sections especially. Even ‘f*k y*u’ will save one valuable byte of space & help Google immensely, considering the widespread web usage of this phrase to express principled intellectual and artistic disagreement.